Posts

I hate sports day

'I hate sports day.'  There, I said it.

 I have always hated sports day. I know I am meant to feel all 'I'm blessed' because
I almost didn't get to see any, but I am so over that now.

I just feel bad subjecting my children to it, particularly my little girl who isn't sporty
(and, as I tell her a lot, nor was I and I did ok).

I also feel terrible for myself, how is it at 35 I'm dreading the day?

What do I dread? Well let's see- it's really uneven and I spend the whole walk
 across the field expecting to fall over in front of everyone.  When I finally get to
 where I am sitting and lower myself into a dubiously uneven deck chair, I get to either
boil or (as this year had it) freeze. All this to watch my daughter  take part in 2 races
over the space of 4 hours!

I will admit the last hour is lovely: a family picnic with both children. My husband and
 my mother-in-law joined us this year, as they were doing the afternoon session for my
 son. The sun…

6 years of not being dead

Is celebrating 6 years of not being dead! Yay 😂!

Its 6 years since my brain haemorrhage today - I don't know whether I am
 getting better or just better at being disabled. I find i care less about about
 things I see as unimportant.

 I sound as I sound, I walk as i walk - yes I am doing my best to improve it but
 until then it is what it is.... (it turns out not caring what anyone thinks is actually
an awfully lot easier said than done - you will hopefully never know how hard that
 is to write that I don't care and actually mean).

I know on Facebook you are supposed to put good things and i don't want to be all
negative - so I am really happy im alive today with my lovely husband and family
but I am not going to lie or sugar coat it - as you can probably imagine it is/has been
 truly terrible.

It has been, and continues to be, the hardest thing I have ever done by far - those that
know me well will know how hard i work...

But yay for being alive! I guess everything else i…

The Many Joys of being Disabled: Falling Over

When was the last time you fell over? I don't mean a little trip
I mean ending up on the floor!

I fell over about an hour ago, which is the second time this week,
that I have ended up on my bottom.

 I will admit this is unusual. I am extremely careful after spraining my ankle in 2015
 (which wasn't great. It was a day into the 6 weeks holiday and was surprisingly painful
 - with all the brain surgery etc and 2 c-sections that easily hurt the most!).

I will never forget my automatic feeling of not concern about it really hurting - I thought
 I had broken it - but the upset it was going to set my physio back!

What has been surprising is how ok and generally acceptable it is for me to get hurt, on a
 daily basis. Quite often I have big bruises and won't know how I did it. It’s not because it
 didn’t hurt, it probably did, but it is just my normal now and I get on with things.

I wouldn't think even to mention it unless:

1.      Its too painful and I have to, or
2.      It…

My Children: The PICKIEST of Picky Eaters

Why don’t my children eat? I ask myself constantly.

I know what you are thinking: “MY children eat, she must be pandering to
 them in some way” and “don’t give them anything else. If they are hungry
 they will eat”

But here’s the thing. I am really not pandering to them. My children simply
 appear to have wills of iron when it comes to food – and yes, they will go hungry.

I have heard it all when it comes to solutions to picky eaters.

‘Don't give them any choice’ is one classic.

I don’t.

‘Just keep putting it on their plate ultimately they will eat it’ is another.

Mine haven't and they’re 7 and 9 years-old.

But I still persist, putting food on their plate for them to waste.

What I have learnt is all that all the advice is complete rubbish when it comes to
 my own children.

Over the years I have tried lots of things to encourage them, including going to a
special children's group for picky eaters. The end result was after 6 weeks my
 daughter LICKED a pepper, once, withou…

The Many Joys of Being disabled: The Loss of Eloquence.

One of my daughter's first words was ‘customer service’. She was tiny (in the toddler seat of the trolley) and said this and pointed as we walked past the desk at a local supermarket.
My family finds this very funny because it was obviously a word she’d heard often from me and it is a good insight into my own personality and the how and why I ended up as a lawyer. Having my – and my former client’s - voices heard was always incredibly important to me.
So when I was in the hospital after my brain haemorrhage and the speech therapist told me that my voice had changed, it wouldn't improve and this was something I would just have to get used to, let’s just say, I wasn’t best pleased.
Imagine if your voice changed overnight. How would you react?
It was awful for me. For a long time I was too embarrassed to even make basic phone calls.  I couldn't even phone the school reception in case they didn't understand me. I couldn’t – and still can't phone my elderly grandparents (whom…

The Many Joys of Being Disabled.

There are lots of things about becoming disabled that wind me up but also many things that have also really surprised me.
A lot of these things you don't (well I didn't) even think about until you are disabled. And then it becomes everything!
To say that things are hard is the understatement of the year! It is easily the hardest thing I have encountered (let me remind you I was recruited and worked for a top law firm,  I have a postgraduate qualification, a degree and won 2 national volunteer awards for a volunteer project I set up whilst at university - I know what hard work is...). 
I am not scared to leave my house, it is just so much easier for me to stay in!! But I must get out more so I have thought about starting a new series of blogs about the things I find challenging, and the things that panic me each time I go on a long journey or go away.
And although I think it'll be good for me to have a bit of a whinge, my overriding attitude is: 'it sucks. So, what can I do…

Mummy Ideas: 6 weeks of hell and how to make it 6 weeks of fun.

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In 5 weeks time I will have 2 children to entertain predominantly on my own, with no
 car, for 6 weeks - doesn't that sound easy!!

I approach the summer holidays like a military operation. I am looking forward to the
 holidays but like most mums, although they won't admit it, I am terrified (anyone who
says they just love it, is either lying or is just sickening!).

Now, I spent the day yesterday planning activities for the children.  I have a whole
 summer folder with everything in triplicate (1 x my daughter, 1 x my son and 1 x the folder).
 I do this every year. Yes it takes time thinking,  planning and putting it all together but it is
absolutely worth it.

I don't plan what we do daily in advance but I do like to have plans for when they say
 'I am bored'. Between my clipboards,  busy bags and my folder I am fairly confident I
can keep them busy and hopefully away from screens (if you haven't already, look at my
 post about using busy bags and clipboards).