Fishy Fun...

 Now I would like to make it very clear, I never intended to swim with fish.

I don't like fish and although I’m not terrified of them (unlike I am with cows,

but that's another story) they do make me nervous to the point where I even

avoid fish in pet stores.

Around the age of 23 I went on holiday with my in-laws and my husband to

Madeira. It was amazing, blue sky and 5* luxury.

One day a scuba diving instructor randomly came to our hotel pool to talk about

trying scuba diving. My husband looked so excited and I felt compelled to do it.

Frankly, it must have been a good sales pitch because I was not (and definitely

not now) a brilliant swimmer, but I thought ‘what's the harm in doing the swimming

pool bit?!’

I would like to reiterate, I had absolutely no intention of going scuba diving in the ocean.

Whilst I was watching the safety video of all the dangerous things I was thinking 'welI I won't be doing that…'

Even after I had done the lesson and walked down to the ocean, I had absolutely no

intention of going in. I was just going to watch.

Rather naively, I stood on the side ready to watch in my full scuba diving gear. A 'helper'

then assumed I was going in and actually pushed me. Everyone else looked so happy, I

had all the equipment on, I had completed the lesson and I knew I would ruin it for

everyone else if I made a fuss.

Everything seemed to happen very quickly, and I was concentrating very hard on not

drowning, before I knew what was going on, we were away from the steps. Here's the

thing, I really didn't feel I had any choice other than to go with it and hope it was over

quickly. However, it turns out that there are loads of fish in the ocean lol (who knew!).

Every time the instructor pointed out a fish I would nod politely and look away. Luckily

this was no barrier reef!

Unfortunately, my fear has been recorded for all time on an underwater video. Not only

does it capture my overwhelming fear, it also captures me in the rather unflattering

(and tight) wet suit. The video is also deceptive, it was shot from a distance and set

to music, so it looks like I got in the ocean of my own free will. I absolutely did not!

The video does, however, capture a wonderful moment (much to all my families amusement)

of me being offered a sea urchin to hold. However, underwater you can't say 'no thank you'

so I basically ended up shaking my head madly with both my hands held up to indicate no

-don't-you-dare-give-me-that-thing!

Now, I am quite observant and although I had absolutely no intention

of going in the ocean, I had paid attention to the safety video. It said that

we needed to avoid any big black spiky things (very technical!) well I saw

one and that was the final straw.

I grabbed the instructor's leg and indicated I was going to die with a hand

to neck gesture. He did the OK sign at me, which according to my lesson

and the safety video, you are meant to respond to by calmly signalling back

and pointing up - I didn't do this but again I indicated I was going to die. Like

in space, underwater no one can hear you scream!

My husband could now see I wasn't happy and in the end through sign language

and wildly shaking my arms, I made it abundantly clear to everyone that I’d had

enough.

I don't remember how we got back to the surface, but we did (thank goodness)

and then we endured a hellish swim back (I am not a strong swimmer and the

waves did not help).

Despite the trauma, overall I am glad we did it (I wasn't at the time). Being

disabled now, swimming is not a priority so even though it wasn't a great experience

I am still glad I did it.

My mother-in-law says 'I was very brave ' doing it. On reflection, I was very brave

because I had absolutely no intention of going in the ocean but then I was perhaps

stupid for not speaking up!