A semblance of normality: An ex- lawyer/ stay at home mum/disabled mums view

I have spent 5 years imagining what my life should be like. Sometimes I have been almost able to see what I should be doing. It might sound crazy but I can actually visualise my family going abroad on holiday, spending the day in London seeing the sights and visiting museums, having afternoon tea at the Connaught or the Berkeley. Doing all the things that a normal family might do. Sadly, that isn’t my new normal. It’s not my reality. My ‘new’ normal is very different and going for afternoon tea at the Connaught or the Berkeley feels like it happened to someone else. It’s funny that seven years ago I would have thought that being stuck in the house on my  own without a car with two children sounded like absolute hell… Back then, pre brain haemorrhage, when my car was being repaired I remember crying and  wailing: ‘what am I going to do?!’ I haven’t driven since my brain haemorrhage, and I find this absolutely hilarious now. To be honest it's only now I can say

I love reading, I have always loved reading. It is very important to me that the children have the opportunity to enjoy books and I want to be able to encourage  them. At work, I used to go to a monthly book club. Then after I had children, I went to  another group where you ate a three-course meal and after every course you moved  to discuss a book. But after my brain haemorrhage (see post ‘about me’) my vision - albeit just in one eye - is much worse. So although I can still read, I am frustratingly slow at it. The double vision I suffered for the first 18 months (until I got a vision blocking contact lens  – turns out you can’t have double vision if you only see through one eye!) did not help. In my post haemorrhage life I have therefore had to come up with an alternative: and so I  discovered the audio book and I simply love them. To start with it felt almost like cheating. Just listening wasn't proper reading but now I love the fact that I can do other stuff.