A semblance of normality: An ex- lawyer/ stay at home mum/disabled mums view

My children worry about a lot of things.   But then, everyone worries, don’t they?   My children worry about being alone, being burgled, the dark, flying bugs, spiders, wasps and any unfamiliar noises.   They also worry a lot about me because I am disabled.   These days’ children seem under even more pressure especially following the last turbulent year.   When I was at primary school I made myself ill with anxiety over my Maths SAT and I’m a qualified solicitor so I’m sure you can imagine how many exams I had to take…. Anyway: what can parents do to help our children with increased worry? I use a very simple idea: I give them a Worry Book.  If my child has a worry they write it in their 'worry book' and then they put it on my bed.   The genius is that they don’t have to ‘tell’ me about their worries directly, but they can still communicate them.  We've been doing this for 2 years now and I have found it particularly useful in the current global p...

'Be kind' was the message that came out of the TV presenter Caroline Flack’s untimely death. Then came the fear and restrictions brought by Covid-19. And to my mind, this message was very quickly forgotten. Back, at the start of the pandemic in March 2020 we all clapped for the carers and offered to buy each other’s shopping. Nothing was too much trouble. Millions offered to become volunteers. Online – where I live most of my life - I noticed that people were slower to jump to conclusions and were less judgemental. Not so much mumshaming (of which more later). But now, we seem to have forgotten how to be kind. It’s unsurprising: now emerging from our 3 rd national lockdown we are all fed up with restrictions, the economy is on its knees and many have lost their jobs. It’s been a marathon and our patience is running thin. A friend of mine told me recently that, in a supermarket, she asked another woman to move her shopping trolley. She could have shifted it herself but she didn...

  Im feeling incredibly lucky that this is my morning. On an airplane, the flight attendant always tells you “put your oxygen mask on first,” before helping others. Why? Because if you run out of oxygen, you can't help anyone else with their mask. Look after your needs first, to be able to look after the needs of everyone else - coffee and peace is my need...

  The more I think about this, the more I can see it: In her book, Discrimination Law, Sandra Fredman (second edition, 2010, Oxford University Press) talks about HOW SURPRISING it is, given its RANDOM NATURE, that society STIGMATISES, is PREJUDICED AGAINST and EXCLUDES disabled people. No one can see the future, anyone can become disabled...

  My daughter wants a phone. To be fair, she has seriously wanted a phone since Yr 4... she is now Yr 6 (mean mummy). Now I am thinking about it because she is off to secondary school in September . However, I don’t want to just give one to her for her to abuse and break. Therefore - being a mean mummy and an ex solicitor - I told her this was her opportunity to persuade us ( I did say a document that I can keep would be quite persuasive along with a presentation...). Last night she gave her presentation and it was very good. She had obviously worked very hard - I knew she had. These were her main points: - To stay in contact with friends - I could delete her friend's contacts from my phone freeing up space. - When she goes to secondary school she needs it to stay in contact with her old friends - If something happened and she had no phone, she would not be able to contact anyone to come and 'save' her. - Some phones have tracking on them. - To be able to text her family ...

  Well below is my amended schedule. Below is also a picture that I shared of my daughter in her dressing gown desperately trying to keep up with the school work. This half-term we are still doing the school work, but my way. I am prioritising English and Maths (I hate maths so have delegated to the grandparents via facetime - huge thanks!!) I am better if I have a schedule. Although the schedule is more for me, my children can clearly see they can't just put on FIFA, Fortnite or Minecraft as soon as it hits 3pm. It is obviously a work in progress, if it doesn't work we'll revert but we need to try something new... I haven't shared this with lots of groups because I have no idea whether it's going to work. Good luck to all the other parents.

  So much better - on our 3rd audio book. They are writing how they would survive a zombie apocalypse... No screens + quiet children + coffee = happy mum

The difference between Lockdown 1 (when I could do it my way) and Lockdown 3 (following the expectations from the school)

  Like most at the moment, I am exhausted and totally fed up with home schooling. I am also manically busy at the moment and don't have any spare time so maybe keep this idea in mind for half-term…its up today for children's mental health week. I was so happy with how my photo rings turned out. They are really really sweet - take up no room in a bag, aren't really obvious but give my children some comfort. Also being laminated means they can be cleaned easily (important in today's world!). I thought this would be useful to someone with children returning to school after the lockdowns. All I did was print my favourite family photos together with examples of our lockdown activities, laminate them (I do love my laminator), punch a hole in it and put it on a ring. It also made fab (and easy because I kept the photos) xmas presents for my grandparents too. My grandma has dementia so I wrote on the back who everyone was... I had good intentions to do this for my toddler too. ...

I know 'Invictus' is quite a hard poem for children. However, mine know it really well because I love this poem and I normally use it in relation to my brain haemorrhage. This poem is perfect for now and really sums up the current pandemic. Without going through it like a bad poetry critique it is all about resilience, hope and courage. On a separate note, two years ago my son got through to the semi final of a school talent show reciting it. I'm trying to encourage my children to do a different poem this year but I doubt either will end up doing it as they care more what other people think now... Invictus by William Ernest Henley Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menac...