A semblance of normality: An ex- lawyer/ stay at home mum/disabled mums view

I never thought I would have to worry about anxiety. Stress and depression happened to other people. I'd seen it affect others but nope, not me.  I was working in a high-pressure environment which l loved and I was completely ‘together”. But after my brain haemorrhage in 2013, I started suffering really bad anxiety. To be honest, I defy anyone to go through what I did with a young family and come out the other end feeling completely fine.  There are no two ways about it. The haemorrhage I suffered was BIG and I am incredibly  lucky to be alive. In fact I very nearly died and for six months afterwards I had to live with the fear (and trust me,  I was terrified) that I could have another bleed without any notice and die. That was until I chose (!) to have another (I’d already had several) very big and very scary brain surgery where there was a substantial risk of death or further injury.  As a mother to two young children, I spent the whole ti...

 Those of you who have been through the process of getting a mortgage will know  the importance of the whole ‘affordability’ thing. You know, when you present  bank statements to the lender and show you can afford the money you want to borrow; and that you’re not frittering your earnings away on too many take-aways, clothes, posh cars or exotic holidays. Anyway, I was thinking about what to write about next and I was reminded of what is  possibly the worst phone call I’ve ever made. Just the memory of it makes me cringe.  I can't believe I did it. It is so embarrassing!* Basically around the age of 18, a Dogs Charity caught me at a hormonal moment. I saw  a TV advert showing this poor cold and hungry dog – skinny, miserable and unloved  and I felt compelled to help. Frankly, it must have been an amazing advert because the truth is I am more of a cat person. Fast forward 2 years and my now-husband was looking at my bank statements as we ...

I'm really torn: I want to tell you all about how life is as a newly disabled person, because although it can be depressing, in so many other ways it's surprising and interesting. But I also don't want, and can’t afford, to depress myself by purposely thinking about all things that totally wind me up. So, dear readers, I have decided I am going to list all the things that are winding me up at the moment but do so briefly and not dwell and not make myself cross! I have also written this post in several sittings to avoid REALLY winding myself up: I haven't done a blog about discrimination for a while because I didn't want to come across as just whinging about my disabilities. However, when things are done by other people or companies which actually make it even harder, it's already hard enough, there is a big problem.  Disability can happen to anyone at anytime - as I found out.  In her book, Discrimination Law, Sandr...

The Case of the Missing Shepherd Every year I moan about the missing shepherd in our nativity scene. I bought it  before I realised this travesty and it annoys me every year. My husband said I was  insane to complain to the garden centre where I bought it, but you know what? I don’t  understand why there wasn’t mass outrage over this.  I was calling them anyway. You see, in our nativity scene, Joseph appears to moonlighting as the shepherd as well and in my book that’s unfair. I mean, no-one else has a dual role. The year before last, my son was a shepherd in the school nativity. I told him he didn't exist in our version! Anyway, phoning up the garden centre wasn't the easiest of things. My speech has been affected by the haemorrhage and I can be hard to understand at times. I had to repeat many times why  I was complaining about the missing shepherd/dual-rolled Joseph.  I didn’t understand why there wasn’t mass outrage about this. The garde...

I should say right at the outset that 1. I DO like animals and 2. I am not in anyway a horrible person when it comes to animals (or anything else I like to think!). I love my two house cats and would like a little dog when my children leave home (I have told my husband it's cheaper than a 3rd baby but he’s not convinced….yet!!) However, I will not 'do' any more pets. When I was 9ish I had a hamster called ‘Squeak’. Now, alas poor ‘Squeak’ didn't fare too well and as a general rule I think it's probably fair to say best not give hamsters baths… Squeak survived quite a few ‘baths’ before he finally died. I should like to also point out that he passed on at a normal hamster-ish age and I has been explicitly told - by now that I look back on it not-a-necessarily-reliable-source - that I could bath him.  Although I suppose the baths might not have helped, I’m glad to say he didn’t die immediately...killing my hamster would have real...

I suggest you read my blog below about why I don't like October and why  I was absolutely dreading it.  However, I refuse to spend a whole month in hiding. I am therefore on a mission  to make this October epic! I have got lots of lovely things planned like coffee with a friend somewhere a bit special, a catch up with a friend I haven't seen for ages and afternoon tea to name but a few... I am actually starting to look forward to it. Here's hoping for a good October. October: my interesting and very stressful month both in 2017 & 2018 October 2017 Well they say things happen in 3’s - I had my son being unexpectedly admitted  to hospital, my birthday and my sons MRI scan. Basically my son has Childhood Absence Epilepsy and can fall over for no apparent reason. Tiredness appears to be a trigger and we had a long journey which set him off. I took him to the doctors who promptly (and completely unexpectedly we left half eaten sandwiches in...

'I hate sports day.'  There, I said it.  I have always hated sports day. I know I am meant to feel all 'I'm blessed' because I almost didn't get to see any, but I am so over that now. I just feel bad subjecting my children to it, particularly my little girl who isn't sporty (and, as I tell her a lot, nor was I and I did ok). I also feel terrible for myself, how is it at 35 I'm dreading the day? What do I dread? Well let's see- it's really uneven and I spend the whole walk  across the field expecting to fall over in front of everyone.  When I finally get to  where I am sitting and lower myself into a dubiously uneven deck chair, I get to either boil or (as this year had it) freeze. All this to watch my daughter  take part in 2 races over the space of 4 hours! I will admit the last hour is lovely: a family picnic with both children. My husband and  my mother-in-law joined us this year, as they were doing the afternoon session for...